My Right To Be a Butterface OR How Blizzard Nerfed My Tits

For the past decade, you’ve been suffering from a few minor medical problems:

  1. 1.  Slight muscle paralysis that limits the full use of your face muscles.  You can talk and eat just fine but your facial expressions are sometimes difficult to discern.
  2. 2.  These issues also extend to the rest of your body.  Even though you live a very active lifestyle and are otherwise in good health, you find your movements to be jerky and a little awkward sometimes.
  3. 3. Then there’s your complexion.  Or lack there of. Maybe it’s anemia but your diet is balanced even iron rich.  Nonetheless, your skin color is almost mannequin-like in it’s evenness.  No rosy cheeks for you.

All in all, not a terrible state of health.  Simply less than stellar.

One day a surgeon offers to fix your problems.  She says that there is a way for you to gain full use of your muscles and even fix whatever imbalance is causing your unnatural pallor.  There is no downside.  Everything is safe and wonderful.  Of course, you agree to the procedure.

* * *

The operation is quick and painless and you are eager to see the results.  As you make your way to the mirror, you can already feel an increased ease of movement.  You look down and see that your hands now sport a lovely gradient of color in your skin tone.

Then you arrive at the mirror.

Or at least you thought you did but the person standing there, where the mirror should be is a stranger.  This person stares dumbly back at you.  No doubt mimicking your own perplexed expression.  Who is this person?  Why is she here and what does she want?

Your surprise transforms into horror as you realize that the person before you is yourself.  It’s apparent that the good doctor felt that you could use some additional improvements.

Your own body looks alien to you.  Your nose is new and you suspect that your eyes have been widened and . . . is that collagen in your lips?

As your gaze travels around your body, you see the butt lift that you never asked for, slimmer thighs, and OMFG Blizzard nerfed your tits!

Has this ever happened to you?  It happened to me.  Well, not me exactly.  It happened to my orc hunter.

orc torso *note the smaller butt and breasts*

orcface*The big lips take away from my awesome tusks and orcish awesomeness*

As a rational adult and gamer, I recognize Blizzard’s right to change anything they want about their product.  But as a woman, I can’t help but see the perpetuation of a “one-size-fits-all” beauty ideal.

Before the nerf, the female orc was the sole example of an extreme hourglass figure.  Yeah, she had an ugly face by most standards but she’s an orc.  She also had the best bum, breasts, and posture.  All that was combined with rock hard abs and biceps like she punched cows for a living.  In a genre filled with waif-like elf or  anime builds, she was a Wonder Woman.  But now . . . Now I can’t help but notice how much closer she is to looking like everyone else.

When I logged o for the first time and saw the state my orc was in, I was reminded of how the real life ideal of feminine beauty seems to be getting narrower as well.  And, for me, it isn’t even about unrealistic ideals but the fact that there are such strong “ideals” at all.

For example, all the craziness surrounding barbie in the 1990’s: Her boobs were too big, her waist to small, her legs too long, etc. etc.  There was public outcry that Barbie was setting a beauty standard that was too high and young girls were going to be psychologically damaged when they realized that they don’t/can’t look like Barbie.  Personally, I never thought I was supposed to look like Barbie.  At least not until Barbie protesters put the idea into my head.

So they changed Barbie.  Now she has smaller breasts and sticks her (smaller) ass out by arching her back.  But this is better because now girls have a more anatomically feasible goal to pursue in their quest for physical acceptance.

Why did nobody question why a child would look to a doll as a role model in the first place?  Where was her mother? sister? grandmother? best friend? strong real female hero?  Probably trying to make herself look as much like this weeks beauty ideal.  Or was it last weeks?  last years?  Is there s difference?  No matter what, the beauty ideal is defined by what you can’t be.   Beauty will always be thinner than you or have larger breasts or a different hair/eye/skin color.

As a female actor, I have to face all the reasons I am lacking everyday because each of those “flaws:” are poised to cost me a job.  If you read a few audition notices for women you will see a pattern:

Women (italics are my own)

  • “A gorgeous young blonde Caucasian at least 5’5″ in height must be aged 27 to 29
  • “Completely, utterly and unfathomably stunning. Makes Victoria’s Secret models look homely.  Looking for perfect 10s who can act only. Thanks.”
  • “Caucasian, small, perky breasts, No lines.”

Keep in mind they don’t all read like that but (by my estimate) you are about 20 times more likely to find demands like this put on a woman than on a man.   The age range for men is normally a decade at least.  Women generally see much smaller windows of desirability.  And do we even know what “perfect 10” would mean if applied to a man’s appearance?  How many men do you think are cast based on the perkiness of their parts (outside of the porn industry)?

It seems as though nobody cares what a man looks like.  They have a much more equal opportunity.  A real chance to be cast based on ability rather than appearance.  But a woman can be counted out for anything from her waist measurement to her eye color.  What she considers her physical assets can quickly become liabilities.

Perhaps our mothers were right.  Barbie is our best role model and like her, we should all have the same body made to factory specifications.  And, in a way, i think every woman knows the score.  Physical beauty isn’t something you’re born with but something to be assimilated into.

I had just hoped my skull-splitting orc would get to keep her unique physique.  But I guess you can’t have child-bearing hips and thin lips and expect to kick ass.
//

One thought on “My Right To Be a Butterface OR How Blizzard Nerfed My Tits

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