So, nowadays, actors often film their own auditions.  The casting director emails you some sides and then you record yourself on your handy home camera or, in my case, phone.

This weekend I had an audition for a blurb on cosmetic dentistry.  “Must have white teeth,” etc. read the call notice.  Now my teeth are fairly white and I did get chosen to audition.  However, as I recorded myself, I was forced to look at my mouth.  And look at it I did.  As each moment passed, I became more self-conscious and unnerved at what I can only call a Kafkaesque transformation unfolded.